Tuesday, January 26, 2010

walls

Wounds are tricky. Some are very obvious and you are constantly aware of the need of healing. Others, it’s not till you’re in a situation that you realize you haven’t 100% dealt with elements of your past. Suddenly you look down and you are in full armor with cement in one hand, bricks in the other, ready to build that wall up at the first sign of invasion or attack.

Instead of putting them down, I just tell people I carry bricks and cement in case they happen to run into a wall I’ve quickly thrown up.
Probably would be easier to just put the bricks down. This means digging up the lies, figuring out the truth in the situation, and choosing to believe the Lord instead. Sounds so simple, and yet it is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

Why is it so hard to accept the truth?

Friday, January 22, 2010

Mac 'n Cheese

We are moving soon! And by “we” I mean Jamie, Katie and I. We have taken that big step and have leased a house in Atlanta and upon doing so have officially (and hopefully permanently) “left the nest”.
However, much to my chagrin I have to enter into the disciplined life of a budget. Granted, I’ve been paying my own bills and living on a budget for a couple of years now, however, living at home frees up a lot of income that sadly, now I will have to seal in an envelope and kiss good-bye every month. That’s going to hurt. However, I am decided and dedicated to sticking to this budget (not that I have a choice). I am taking this thing by the horns and will be disciplined and pull it off with flying colors. Sadly this means that the luxuries I use to experience, like eating, will be tight. Eating out will be a rarity, and planning all my meals at home will be necessity. I refuse to view this as a bad thing, I enjoy looking at issues in life and still seeing the glass as half full.
So here is my game plan:
Plan out all the meals and necessary ingredients and ONLY buy those. Last result will be grilled cheese, rice and beans, Easy Mac, and every one’s personal favorite Ramen Noodles (thought I said goodbye to that in college. Round 2). Here’s the “half full” part. Carbs are cheap. That is a great blessing! Thankfully I’ve recently developed a love for running and am training for 2 big races this year. The majority of this year I will be in some form of training, so I will be in desperate need of the before mentioned cheap carbs. This will prevent the typical response to large amounts of pasta and cheese …unpleasant weight gain. However, Jamie and I still fully anticipate losing weight due to the fact we just won’t be buying a lot of food. So, that works out great, losing weight and staying on budget…what’s bad about that!?
Then I realized…losing weight means our clothes won’t fit. And there is no money to fix that problem. Sigh. So you can’t win for losing…
But, we are moving on and growing up and I am excited about that, even if it means eating a lot of macaroni and cheese. It won’t be forever…and until then, Jamie’s boyfriend said he’d buy me a belt.

Stay posted for the adventures of living in Atlanta. I can almost guarantee they will be ridiculous.

P.S. we move in less than 2 weeks and I’ve ONLY packed my towels. Baby steps people…baby steps.