I tend to be someone who will accidentally say what they are thinking.
OK, maybe not on accident. But I will verbalize them before giving my brain a moment to proof read the words that are about to fly out of my mouth.
This lovely habit has been the root of many embarrassing stories. Stories my longest and dearest friends will be the first to make sure you've heard.
However, this weekend, I allowed my word vomit to happen in the hopes of rescuing me. For the first time ever, it didn't work!
I'll set the scene:
Athens on Game Day.
A man that is closer in age to my mother had been talking to my roommate and myself throughout the tailgate and afterwards while we were waiting to meet up with some other friends.
We had mutual friends so there was no ending these conversations.
After attempting to "hit on" my roommate, who has boyfriend, he then moved on to me.
I had just spent the better part of 5 minutes letting this man know that I was not his type, and would BORE him to tears if he were to take me out. Never have I ever tried to make myself sound boring to someone before! But when you're not interested, suddenly you will tell someone ANYTHING to get them to leave you alone.
Sir, I have 10 cats.
Will it make you leave me alone?
Then yes. I have 10 cats. They all sleep with me, and I call them all Kitty.
(Next time I'll try this approach.)
But I digress....
He was 40 going on 23. Also, not in the least bit close to having qualities of a guy I would go to dinner with.
At this point I'm getting desperate.
He is not getting the idea. He's draping his arm around my shoulder. I send "Help ME!" eyes to my friends, but alas, they are watching the TN v. FL game.
The music is loud. No one could even probably hear my cries for "Help" if I wanted to send out a verbal signal!
And that's when it happens. Life throws me a bone. The word vomit and habit of RIDICULOUS things happening to me provides an out!
This is how the last conversation transpires: (Remember, music is LOUD)
"You really need to get over this whole 'age' thing" - guy
" AIDS??? What AIDS thing??"- me
"When did we start talking about AIDS?" -me
"Do YOU have AIDS!!??" -me
(At this point it hits me. I just asked almost a complete stranger probably the most personal question there is. Likelihood of offending him: High. My next thought....GOOD!)
"NO! Not AIDS.....AGE!" - guy
I'm sure that he will leave me alone now. I just asked this guy if he had AIDS. I'm saved! No one recovers from that kind of question.
"You're not leaving here without giving me your number."- guy
Sigh. Word Vomit FAIL. Seriously sir?? I just asked you if you have AIDS.
5 minutes later I left.
I gave no one my number.
One day I will write a book. This story will be in it. Along with so many others that I only wish I could blog about.
But why ruin the surprise?
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Myrtle Beach 2010
May the good Lord be with you
Down every road you roam.
And may sunshine and happiness
Surround you when you're far from home.
May you grow to be proud
Dignified and true
And do unto others
As you'd have done to you.
Be courageous and be brave
Friday, September 10, 2010
They say to fully understand someone, you have to know where they came from.
Me, I'm the oldest of 4. The oldest of three younger brothers. Three younger brothers with strong, crazy, boy personalities. I've always told people that once you met my family, you'd understand.My poor mother. I'm sure she tried, prayed, cried over trying to make sure I grew up some what feminine. There's only so much you can do when you're surrounded by boys all the time. When other girls were having tea parties and playing dress up I was rolling down our yard in giant refrigerator boxes, drawing beards on with my mothers eye liner pencil, and building forts that rivaled Fort Sumter. Our version of dress up was putting on my dad's clothes, which swallowed us, and then stuffing the extra room with pillows pretending to be fat people. Then we would eat cheesy poofs and wander around the house completely amused by ourselves.
My mother tried her hardest to protect the little girl inside of me that was emotionally squished due to the amount of testosterone that I grew up with. My bows always matched my dresses, and oh, there were ALWAYS bows. My hair was curled, when she figured out how to manage it, and my socks had frills that covered my entire shoe.
Currently my toe nail is a lovely shade of violet charcoal. I would name it "violent midnight" if I had to pick some sort of weird, eclectic nail polish color.
Did I get a pedicure?
Dropped my brothers kayak on it......3 months ago.
Mom, you did well. I can throw on a little black dress and wear heals with the best of them. However, if you know me at all, you know I'm ten times more "Cam" in Chacos, athletic clothes (preferably spandex), and wandering somewhere outside.
I blame this partly on him.
Oldest of my brothers and someone I could spend hours upon days at a time with and never grow tired of. He loves adventure and the outdoors just as much as I do and does a great job of calling me into it more. He'll be competing in his first Triathlon with me in October!
And these are the other two. They're just as crazy, and jacked.
We've gone shooting with semi automatics....
Climbed on the roof during a lightning storm to watch the splendor race across the sky.
Rolled kayaks in the pool. (also during a thunderstorm. Mom really hates when we do this)
Almost wrecked snowmobiles in Jackson Hole....
Mastered the art of racing sleeping bags down the basement stairs.
Ridden big wheels down a side walk and off the dock into the lake.
and countless other crazy memories...
As I've gotten older I've realized just how much I appreciate the crazy, boy dominated, adventuresome family I grew up in. It played such a huge part in who I am, and also the things I enjoy now. So, thank you brothers. Thank you for playing a huge part in who I am today by being who you are! Life wouldn't be as fun or as wonderful without you!
L to R: Parker (aka P-Rimz), Mitchell (Mitchy Man), Harrison (Brother Bear)