The thing every woman dreams about!! Oh, to go on a shopping spree where the possibilities are endless and there's no cap on how much you can say you want! Whether you get it all, well that's another part.
I've been so excited about this aspect, however, I found out that several married friends have kept a dark secret.
Jordan and I went browsing just to see what things we liked. I expected this to be the first of many future marital bliss moments I would experience with him. I picture something like a scene from a musical. We'd both go rushing to the same glasses....the same fabric colors...the same dishes and discover we love the same things! Then we'd laugh at each other and think, "Gosh we're perfect for each other aren't we." There'd be song, and probably even a dance with a tricky lift. Maybe the Pottery Barn employees would do a synchronized dance with baskets and napkin rings. Oh bliss. Oh happiness! We'd walk out of Pottery Barn hand in hand...the picture-perfect engaged couple.
Now for the dirty secret....
Registering is hard. It's slow...it's painstaking...it's two opinions being solidified into one. It's negotiating...it's crying....it's giving in (on his part). Pretty sure if you survive Registering then you can survive marriage.
Several of my friends responses when I asked them how their registering went:
- "Oh gosh. At one point I ended up sobbing on one of the beds in Bed, Bath & Beyond."
- "I let 'John' help, and then later went and changed everything to what I had originally wanted."
- "My husband was picky about the size of the spoons, the shape of cereal bowls. It took us forever to compromise!"
- "'Jack' helped me in one store, and after that he refused to go with me again."
Now our experience hasn't been bad, but it definitely was different than I anticipated. I wanted to try so hard not to be that woman that doesn't take her husband opinion into consideration. I went in with an open mind. Surely Jordan and I have similar tastes right?
We walk into Pottery Barn and start looking over glassware:
Me: "Ok, looking at these options, which one is your favorite style?"
(I mentally look them over and pick out my LEAST favorite, then I relax knowing surely Jordan would agree with me when it was my turn. Surely, SURELY he wouldn't want our house to feel like Denny's.)
Jordan: "OH, I like these the best!"- Jordan points to the before mentioned LEAST favorite.
My heart drops. Ugh. These? No. The controlling side rises up in me and so strongly I want to say "Oh, that's sweet", pat his head..."We're actually not going to go with those. But thanks for playing."
I try to be stronger.
Me: "Oh ok...we'll maybe we can find something similar but not those particular ones."
Jordan: "You don't like them do you," he states very matter of fact.
Me: " I didn't say that..."
Jordan: "But you don't..."
Oh, don't push me!
Me: "Well what do you like about these?"
Jordan explains his reasoning. Good reasons.
Me: "Sounds good!" I lead him towards the door to leave Pottery Barn and this discussion..."We'll look around and find something with those qualities."
Jordan: "You really hate those glasses don't you?"
Me: "Oh sweet Jesus YES! I understand you want something durable and we will find that, but those glasses will not be in our home. Ever. The End. "
Jordan smiles. He broke me.
Granted I will say I have sense been swayed to a similar style at another store. The durability really is a KEY factor :) See...compromise!
Next time I'll share about the specific shape of cereal bowls that my lactose-intolerant fiance insists we have and how we are changing our bedding selection upon the discovery that there were birds in the pattern.