Friday, September 7, 2012

Adventures in Registering


The thing every woman dreams about!! Oh, to go on a shopping spree where the possibilities are endless and there's no cap on how much you can say you want! Whether you get it all, well that's another part.
I've been so excited about this aspect, however, I found out that several married friends have kept a dark secret.

Jordan and I went browsing just to see what things we liked. I expected this to be the first of many future marital bliss moments I would experience with him. I picture something like a scene from a musical. We'd both go rushing to the same glasses....the same fabric colors...the same dishes and discover we love the same things! Then we'd laugh at each other and think, "Gosh we're perfect for each other aren't we." There'd be song, and probably even a dance with a tricky lift. Maybe the Pottery Barn employees would do a synchronized dance with baskets and napkin rings. Oh bliss. Oh happiness! We'd walk out of Pottery Barn hand in hand...the picture-perfect engaged couple.

Now for the dirty secret....
Registering is hard. It's's's two opinions being solidified into one. It's's's giving in (on his part). Pretty sure if you survive Registering then you can survive marriage.
Several of my friends responses when I asked them how their registering went:

  • "Oh gosh. At one point I ended up sobbing on one of the beds in Bed, Bath & Beyond."
  • "I let 'John' help, and then later went and changed everything to what I had originally wanted."
  • "My husband was picky about the size of the spoons, the shape of cereal bowls. It took us forever to compromise!" 
  • "'Jack' helped me in one store, and after that he refused to go with me again."

Now our experience hasn't been bad, but it definitely was different than I anticipated. I wanted to try so hard not to be that woman that doesn't take her husband opinion into consideration. I went in with an open mind. Surely Jordan and I have similar tastes right?

We walk into Pottery Barn and start looking over glassware:

Me: "Ok, looking at these options, which one is your favorite style?"
(I mentally look them over and pick out my LEAST favorite, then I relax knowing surely Jordan would agree with me when it was my turn. Surely, SURELY he wouldn't want our house to feel like Denny's.)

Jordan: "OH, I like these the best!"- Jordan points to the before mentioned LEAST favorite.

Sigh. Denny's. 

My heart drops. Ugh. These? No. The controlling side rises up in me and so strongly I want to say "Oh, that's sweet", pat his head..."We're actually not going to go with those. But thanks for playing." 

I try to be stronger. 

Me: "Oh ok...we'll maybe we can find something similar but not those particular ones." 
Jordan: "You don't like them do you," he states very matter of fact. 
Me: " I didn't say that..." 
Jordan: "But you don't..." 

Oh, don't push me!

Me: "Well what do you like about these?"
Jordan explains his reasoning. Good reasons.

Me: "Sounds good!" I lead him towards the door to leave Pottery Barn and this discussion..."We'll look around and find something with those qualities." 
Jordan: "You really hate those glasses don't you?" 

I crumble.

Me: "Oh sweet Jesus YES! I understand you want something durable and we will find that, but those glasses will not be in our home. Ever. The End. " 

Jordan smiles. He broke me.

Granted I will say I have sense been swayed to a similar style at another store. The durability really is a KEY factor :) See...compromise!

Next time I'll share about the specific shape of cereal bowls that my lactose-intolerant fiance insists we have and how we are changing our bedding selection upon the discovery that there were birds in the pattern.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

The Day Technology Went On Strike

Today technology went on strike. I don't truly believe that technology has that kind of human capability, but after today I'm pretty sure I have underestimated it. Let's review in bullet points:

  • Got to work this morning only to find out that construction near our office cut our internet lines. Eh, I don't have to check on my email right now. Not a big deal, I'll just do work in our CSM...oh wait, we access that through the internet. Well, while I wait for internet I'll just browse some blogs...hmmm, no. Well I'll just....well...I can stare at the wall...or go home where there's internet.
  • Later on, Jordan was following me to Bible Study and I got too far ahead. Called his phone and it went straight to voicemail. Rats, his phone is dead. Does he remember how to get to bible study? Well he can't use GPS OR call me to figure it out. Maybe he stopped to grab a snack. *I ridiculously pace between the front door and the street.* Do I go looking for him?  Should I just start walking down the street and hope I can flag him down? Will he turn around and go home if he can't find it? Gosh, this is a ridiculous and helpless feeling. I'll call him and see if he's lost...UGH! *more pacing. WHAT DID PEOPLE DO BEFORE PHONES?! HOW AM I SO DEPENDENT? 
  • Then my phone dies. Perfect. Jordan walks in a few minutes later. Phew. No thanks to cell phones.
  • Driving home from Bible study I notice one of the main roads by our house has all the street lights off. Jeez, how cheap is Colorado Springs?! I know we save money by only turning on every other street light but now we're just blacking out entire roads. Pathetic. I pull up into my house only to discover that there's been a power outage. Great. And my phone now has 2% battery from charging in my car. How am I going to wake up tomorrow morning? WHAT DID PEOPLE DO BEFORE ALARM CLOCKS! 
  • Power comes back on (praise the Lord). As I"m about to crawl in bed I remember I have towels that need to be dried. I pull them out of the wash only to notice they feel like I just left them at the bottom of the pool. Weird. Put them in the dryer after unintentionally mopping the floor with the excess water. Dryer makes an odd noise. Open it to discover spin cycle isn't working. I pop them back in the wash so they won't be too moldy and plan on drying them in the morning, Shortly after I find out from my roommate that both are broken. She recommends that I stop the wash and hang them to dry. Don't worry, spin cycle on the wash is broken too. I pull my sopping wet, soapy towels out of the washer. They resemble a blue dalmatian at this point because the detergent hasn't even been dispersed. Awesome. I drag the hot mess outside to hang over our deck to dry overnight only to find out that it's just started to rain. 
Sometimes you just have to just call it a day. 

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

How To Win the Parents Over

Boyfriend's parents.

Also known as "people that have not had to put up with you your whole life" or "people who may be very frightened once they get to know you."
 I get nervous when I meet important people that I really NEED to like me.  In my old world, I'm a fairly confident individual. My family has resided that they can't fix me and have somehow become use to my weird ways. I've had friends for over 20 years (my dad says he pays them), and they find my quirks endearing and they honestly don't know any different. 

Hence why spending time with  significant other's family scares the mess out of me. Endearing may not be the adjective they use.

I tend to say exactly what I'm thinking, no matter how brazen, offensive, quirky or just flat out inappropriate. My family and close friends think it's just so "Cam". Other people...not so much. 

I've tried to remind myself about volume control just in case what is about to come out of my mouth may not be well received. Only problem is I'm a terrible whisperer. Think God also left that out of my surplus of amazing talents ...along with grace, and a mental filter.

I was spending some quality time with Jordan's family a while back. Dinner had been great. I was clever, gracious, funny, but not innapropriate. Successfully got all my food in my mouth. Nope, wait. I didn't eat. Oh, except for the last minute asparagus I ordered. I'm sure the waitor accidentally dropped that on the ground when I ordered it right after she brought the check. Fail.
Don't worry, I ate it with my hands too. (SERIOUSLY...what's wrong with me!?)

Anyway, we were leaving the restaurant, casually walking along the promenade enjoying the delightful evening until it was interrupted by a shrill screaming. The kind that literally makes the hair on your neck stand on end. I think my hands creeped up to my ears and I made an awful face at Jordan.

I look over and there is a little girl just standing on a park bench screaming at the top of her lungs.

The poor parents passed and were all like "Haha, sometimes she just does that."

And I was all like...ummmmm are you kidding me!?

But instead I smiled and gave them the "Oh Kids" face (complete with slight chuckle and wink), however, I immediately turned to Jordan and whispered "I think my uterus just shrivelled up and DIED!"

Only, again, I don't whisper, and apparently his Dad has supersonic hearing, because much to my utter embarrassment I hear his Dad burst out laughing.

ARGH! Pretty sure you never want you're boyfriends parents to hear you say the word uterus at all, let alone with the word shrivel in the same sentence.

 Inwardly I wished could be anywhere but there, and Jordan was giving me that "Later I'm going to kill you face," masked by a slight smile.

That comment was what most parents want to hear out of the girl their son is dating. Promising right?

And just when I think it can't get worse Jordan's Dad rings out " SHARI you have to hear what Cam just said!! We need a quote board for this girl!"

I told him there were already too many of those in the world.

**This blog in no way depicts my feelings towards children, or having children one day. Just my feelings towards that one child in that one moment. Someone remind me of this when I have my own kids ;)**