Teardrops in my Car

*title sung to the ever popular Taylor Swift song "Teardrops on my guitar"

this one is lengthy...but necessary to get the full effect.

Traffic is death. Traffic only brings a couple words to my mind, none of which I can write without censoring myself. So the Office is located off of 85 which we shall rename for now "Highway to Hell." This name suites I-85 around 5 o'clock because even though I know Hell doesn't have a highway (which how creepy would that be)...if it did, I think it would look something like I-85 Northbound looks around Spaghetti Junction. Spaghetti Junction's new name shall be Cluster &%$@. I feel that word sums up that area of a million different bridges and roads of death. I would have loved to watch someone pitching that idea. Maybe the other executive would have responded "so its like a Cluster &%$@ of roads!" and I assume it was followed by "BRILLIANT" because they built it!

So my drive home is down Highway to Hell through the Cluster &%$#. Yup..that sums it up. However, today was beautifully different. We added an extra twist of the knife in the death of traffic. My eldest brother called and said I needed to pick up the youngest from the Aquarium downtown at 6. All I heard was that I needed to wait around an extra hour after work (where all I did was wait around) and drive into the absolute heart of the beast of traffic, better known as DOWN TOWN. This would be perfect because by the time I picked him up it would have taken just enough time for Highway to Hell to be really good and backed up. Love it!

So I get off of work. Already it has not been a good day because I have had nothing to do...and that really gets me good and cranky. Also I'm tired. 8 hour work days will do that to you. Even tea couln't help me today. So as I'm driving and getting stuck in the worst traffic ever I begin to get more and more angry at the thought of what I have to drive through when I turn back around. At this point I am so upset I fear the worst. The absolute worst thing in the world that I avoid more than the plague.

Crying

At first when my eyes began to water with bitterness and frustration the sensation was so alien that I thought my air conditioning was making my eyes water. So I shut the air off. Good, leak fixed(for now).

This is where I'm reminded of the Dane Cook spoof about crying. He talks about how when you've had a bad day at work you fight it all day long not to cry because no one can see you do it. You feel like the world is on your shoulders and he's tapping you saying..."guess what...your going to cry." So me with the world on my shoulders are crawling along downtown streets and I am refusing to break down. I am continued to be reminded that I do not want to be the girl sobbing in traffic. I mean how disturbing would that be to look over at the next car and the driver is in a full fledged sob fest. Ugh it makes me uncomfortable thinking about it.

So I have fixed the air and my mind begins to wander as I sit and rot in traffic. These are my thoughts as the anger comes back:
I completely understand road rage now. All I want to do is honk my horn for no apparent reason and yell with my fist out the window like a deranged man who doesn't understand that grid lock traffic is no ones fault. Oh man if I could just honk my horn I'd feel better. No. I can't. That's just too rude. I can see why people get in fist fights now. It would feel so good to just hit someone. If I could just slug something really hard I would feel so much better. I need to pick up boxing. I'm going to buy a punching bag. Oh thank heavens, I see the Varsity! (this is where I was picking up the littlest brother)
At this moment I see the sun after the storm, the silver lining if you will. I see the light at the end of the tunnel and I have successfully managed the day and the traffic and no tears! Finally I see the Varsity sign.
This is when I feel someone run into my door. No, not a car...a body. A person runs into my car. Immediately I am so scared thinking that some homeless man is either so tripped out on acid that he has run into my car or someone is literally banging on my door for money. I freak out...only when I turn to look out my window to see what is my fate do I see the goofy smile of my youngest brother who was apparently riding just 3 cars behind me. He gives me a goofy wave and laughs at my shocked face and runs back to his car.
And I break. Tears. So many tears its like a floodgate. Huge, sobbing, wet, awful tears. Right there in traffic, just a block from the Varsity....I cried. Being scared by the supposed homeless man pushed me over the edge and I fell 1,000 feet and hit the road with a big fat sob fest.
My brother apologized later obviously really freaked out that his big sister was crying at the Varsity. However, my other brother put his arm around me told me he understood and said the magical words that made everything OK.

Let's go inside and get you a milkshake.

Tea and Madre Teresa

In college I hated being busy. I lived for those 5 sweet words at the end of the day… “I have nothing to do.” Work world is completely different (which I’m learning is the truth about most things.) Work is slow just for the beginning weeks (due to project timings) for the rest of the internship I should have more work to do than hours in the day. But for now its a famine of sorts compared to the soon feast and Im having to find things to snack on to bide my time.

Let me give you a visual of my plush corner office...OK, that’s a lie I have a cubicle…OK, again a lie I’m in a box filled storage room. That’s right…but actually it’s not that bad. I have my privacy and can listen to music. Also I guess you could say it’s a luxurious storage room. I have carpet and my own bullitan board. Lighting isn't that bad either. The other perk…I have a door and it has a lock on it. (Doors are the object of office jealousy) However, everyone knows the combination…so I guess it serves no purpose. I feel pretty important when I arrive and have to plug in the special code to gain access, especially when people see me doing it…but upon opening the door I remember that it’s still a storage room and the people that see me go in probably wonder why I spend so much time in there. However, I have discovered a plethora of markers and such. On the down side, they did remove the helium tanks which would definitely have provided some entertainment…if not just a loss of brain cells. So, I have had to become resourceful, especially since they removed my obvious distraction…the tanks. So here are a few things I’ve discovered to do in the spare time I have sometimes:

blogging. I’ve never been a blogger. I thought it was kind of stupid. Who is going to go online and read about other people’s lives? Then Facebook was created and the normal creepy stalking became the overly prevalent favorite past time. So I figure it makes the friendly stalker's lives easier…let me just tell you what’s going on in my life instead of you having to figure it out from Wall Posts, the occasional "Cameron is________", and About Me Section (Which that section is kinda weird I’ve decided…especially when people write “ just ask me.” That’s my favorite one.) Also, it’s a way to share the ridiculousness that is my life. I’ve learned this from my wiser fellow real world accomplice. And most importantly it gives me something to do.

Secondly, there's Tea. Sweet and simple, and the solution to every possible problem I could have here at work. First and foremost, if bored….a field trip to the break room for some tea can take up at least 5 minutes, plus there is the added time of deciding what tea to chose. Chamomile (personal fave, light and sweet. however, it's decaf. loss of brownie points.) or Mint (ever popular, good flavor with a little bite to it. And it has the needed drugs in it.) Tea is my solution to everything. Cold... tea. Hungry…Tea. Tired….Caffeinated Tea. Needless to say I drink several cups a day.

Finally, since Facebook and any possible entertaining website are blocked I’ve resorted to the old fashioned reading. Just recently I finally decided to bring books to work. Yup that’s right. But before that I had to scrape for reading material. It’s amazing what you find/notice when you have nothing to do. My current favorite is the Mother Teresa quote above the fax machine:

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak but their echoes are truly endless.”

Deep. I may have had time to contemplate what that means, however, I got distracted by what was below that, which was the quote translated into Spanish. I laughed and then tried to see if I could translate it. Three years of Spanish and a study abroad have failed me because I couldn't read a lick of it. (yes I said lick..you say words like that when you get out of college. I think its called aging) But my favorite part was under the quote was written Madre Teresa. That part I could translate.

So hopefully work will pick up soon, because I think we are running out of tea.