Teardrops in my Car

*title sung to the ever popular Taylor Swift song "Teardrops on my guitar"

this one is lengthy...but necessary to get the full effect.

Traffic is death. Traffic only brings a couple words to my mind, none of which I can write without censoring myself. So the Office is located off of 85 which we shall rename for now "Highway to Hell." This name suites I-85 around 5 o'clock because even though I know Hell doesn't have a highway (which how creepy would that be)...if it did, I think it would look something like I-85 Northbound looks around Spaghetti Junction. Spaghetti Junction's new name shall be Cluster &%$@. I feel that word sums up that area of a million different bridges and roads of death. I would have loved to watch someone pitching that idea. Maybe the other executive would have responded "so its like a Cluster &%$@ of roads!" and I assume it was followed by "BRILLIANT" because they built it!

So my drive home is down Highway to Hell through the Cluster &%$#. Yup..that sums it up. However, today was beautifully different. We added an extra twist of the knife in the death of traffic. My eldest brother called and said I needed to pick up the youngest from the Aquarium downtown at 6. All I heard was that I needed to wait around an extra hour after work (where all I did was wait around) and drive into the absolute heart of the beast of traffic, better known as DOWN TOWN. This would be perfect because by the time I picked him up it would have taken just enough time for Highway to Hell to be really good and backed up. Love it!

So I get off of work. Already it has not been a good day because I have had nothing to do...and that really gets me good and cranky. Also I'm tired. 8 hour work days will do that to you. Even tea couln't help me today. So as I'm driving and getting stuck in the worst traffic ever I begin to get more and more angry at the thought of what I have to drive through when I turn back around. At this point I am so upset I fear the worst. The absolute worst thing in the world that I avoid more than the plague.

Crying

At first when my eyes began to water with bitterness and frustration the sensation was so alien that I thought my air conditioning was making my eyes water. So I shut the air off. Good, leak fixed(for now).

This is where I'm reminded of the Dane Cook spoof about crying. He talks about how when you've had a bad day at work you fight it all day long not to cry because no one can see you do it. You feel like the world is on your shoulders and he's tapping you saying..."guess what...your going to cry." So me with the world on my shoulders are crawling along downtown streets and I am refusing to break down. I am continued to be reminded that I do not want to be the girl sobbing in traffic. I mean how disturbing would that be to look over at the next car and the driver is in a full fledged sob fest. Ugh it makes me uncomfortable thinking about it.

So I have fixed the air and my mind begins to wander as I sit and rot in traffic. These are my thoughts as the anger comes back:
I completely understand road rage now. All I want to do is honk my horn for no apparent reason and yell with my fist out the window like a deranged man who doesn't understand that grid lock traffic is no ones fault. Oh man if I could just honk my horn I'd feel better. No. I can't. That's just too rude. I can see why people get in fist fights now. It would feel so good to just hit someone. If I could just slug something really hard I would feel so much better. I need to pick up boxing. I'm going to buy a punching bag. Oh thank heavens, I see the Varsity! (this is where I was picking up the littlest brother)
At this moment I see the sun after the storm, the silver lining if you will. I see the light at the end of the tunnel and I have successfully managed the day and the traffic and no tears! Finally I see the Varsity sign.
This is when I feel someone run into my door. No, not a car...a body. A person runs into my car. Immediately I am so scared thinking that some homeless man is either so tripped out on acid that he has run into my car or someone is literally banging on my door for money. I freak out...only when I turn to look out my window to see what is my fate do I see the goofy smile of my youngest brother who was apparently riding just 3 cars behind me. He gives me a goofy wave and laughs at my shocked face and runs back to his car.
And I break. Tears. So many tears its like a floodgate. Huge, sobbing, wet, awful tears. Right there in traffic, just a block from the Varsity....I cried. Being scared by the supposed homeless man pushed me over the edge and I fell 1,000 feet and hit the road with a big fat sob fest.
My brother apologized later obviously really freaked out that his big sister was crying at the Varsity. However, my other brother put his arm around me told me he understood and said the magical words that made everything OK.

Let's go inside and get you a milkshake.