I created this blog to fill a void. A void I have a work, when I don't have work. It fit very nicely. If ever I had a good hour of nothingness....get on type blog or stalk some other bloggers (more than you would think) and the hour would fly by! It became my routine....a habit...a soon to find out luxury.
why?
Because they found me.
yup. "they"
"they" is who us interns call the IS&T guys. I don't really remember what it stands for. Something and something and technology. They're the nerds. The Tech grads. The pocket protector wearing, PC's are crap ranting, everyone should get a mac, glass pushing, suspender wearing, probably could do circles around me, tech guys that pretty much ruined our lives. As interns we have work sometimes but we do it frugally because when we finish it...its done. Then we enter the boredom phase. I usually work a little bit. Surf the Internet. Work some more, get a snack. Return to work, write a blog. Stuff like that. But oh, not anymore. You see IS&T's main job is that they monitor everyone at my office's Internet usage. They know who goes to what websites, how often etc. Yeah ....obnoxious. As you may have guessed this has led to the blocking of all the good websites. Facebook...fat chance. MySpace...nope. And the most random and obnoxious one....UGA Football website. Really?
So I discovered that this blogging website wasn't blocked...SWEET....found a way to spend my extra time.
All was going great for the first month or so.....that is until they found me. I had gotten too lax....probably got on too many times a day...or it may just be that I got on it every day. But, never-the-less they found me and blocked me. Sigh. I've tried every loop hole but to no avail. This sucker is good and blocked.
I can just imagine them sitting in front of their computers arguing about what external hardrive is better suited for certain computers....or perhaps discussing their new Apple products.(either way this discussion is probably lame and painful) But they notice...
Hey Jim..computer 4,678bc in the storage room at location 45t7 has been on this website a lot!
Really? What is it!
OMG....we missed one!!! How could we not have seen this!
What...what...what one!?
It's....it's a blog
NO!
Yes! And this computer goes to it all the time..oh and look she's convinced her storage room buddy computer to start going to it to. Now this is just getting out of hand.
Well Ned you know what to do.
Yup. BLOCKED!
*evil nerdy laughter in sues*
So...this is why my posts are fewer and far between. Revenge of the Nerds. Knew I should have been nicer to those guys in high school.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
I need an external hard drive
This happened once in college. I went through a busy phase when school started up and I seriously thought I had the early stages of Alzheimer's Disease. I couldn't remember the simplest things for the life of me.
Where were my keys? What day was it? What class am I going to....I go to this class every other day but for some reason it's evading me? What did I do this weekend? Did I eat lunch?
Ridiculous stuff like that.
If I had a hard time remembering who the President was in 1804 than I would write it off as just losing pointless information...but no this was CRUCIAL day in day out, can't function if I don't remember it info. I even called my mom and asked her to set up a doctor's appointment because it was getting bad. She reassured me that I simply had too much going on that my brain couldn't remember it all so it simply was dropping information. Ummm not cool. My brain kinda runs everything and suddenly it had gone renegade and turned against me, deciding to drop information and data without asking permission. It was running amuck and doing whatever it felt like....just trying to function. After a lot of training I had it's leash back on and reminded it who was boss and that it couldn't just delete things like my class schedule from memory.
Well....my brain is acting up again. Apparently my new job has it on overload and so once again my brain has started Spring Cleaning my memory and it is deleting important daily functions. Oh I could tell you what so-and-so had in her teeth at Waffle House in 1999, but what I did yesterday....complete loss. It's getting so bad now that I forget crucial stuff at work. I tried to tell someone something important that I had made a note of and midway through talking I literally stopped and my brain informed me that for lack of space it had decided to delete the rest of that memory. Ugh...I stuttered and spat and internally yelled at my brain for making me look like an idiot as I tried to remember. Meanwhile, Co worker thought I had lost my mind....
Oh I just wrote it down...what was it...Oh my gosh I can't remember...hold on it will come to me....hmmm, nope....I'll be right back...there's a sticky note somewhere.
Thanks brain.
So to solve this problem I've started using the ever brilliant invention Post-Its. My desk looks like one giant reminder because I write them about everything....I have Post-its that remind me about other Post-its. I usually have to sort through my stickies to find the one I'm looking for. Yesterday, however, my brain revolted against my counter attack to memory lost. I miss placed a sticky note.
seriously?
It took me a good 10 minutes to locate it...during which I seriously doubted my capabilities to function. I eventually found it...stuck to some random wall...not near my desk. I do not remember putting it there. My brain had apparently gotten an overload of sticky notes so in an attempt to help me organize, it decided to start moving them. At this point I decided I needed to invest in an external hard drive for my brain, that way at the end of the day I can just transfer crucial files and then I don't have to worry about when my brain crashes.
Good news ....I don't have Alzheimer's.... bad news ... I'm impressed every day when I can do the basics.
If you see me driving down 85 confused....someone direct me towards home.
Where were my keys? What day was it? What class am I going to....I go to this class every other day but for some reason it's evading me? What did I do this weekend? Did I eat lunch?
Ridiculous stuff like that.
If I had a hard time remembering who the President was in 1804 than I would write it off as just losing pointless information...but no this was CRUCIAL day in day out, can't function if I don't remember it info. I even called my mom and asked her to set up a doctor's appointment because it was getting bad. She reassured me that I simply had too much going on that my brain couldn't remember it all so it simply was dropping information. Ummm not cool. My brain kinda runs everything and suddenly it had gone renegade and turned against me, deciding to drop information and data without asking permission. It was running amuck and doing whatever it felt like....just trying to function. After a lot of training I had it's leash back on and reminded it who was boss and that it couldn't just delete things like my class schedule from memory.
Well....my brain is acting up again. Apparently my new job has it on overload and so once again my brain has started Spring Cleaning my memory and it is deleting important daily functions. Oh I could tell you what so-and-so had in her teeth at Waffle House in 1999, but what I did yesterday....complete loss. It's getting so bad now that I forget crucial stuff at work. I tried to tell someone something important that I had made a note of and midway through talking I literally stopped and my brain informed me that for lack of space it had decided to delete the rest of that memory. Ugh...I stuttered and spat and internally yelled at my brain for making me look like an idiot as I tried to remember. Meanwhile, Co worker thought I had lost my mind....
Oh I just wrote it down...what was it...Oh my gosh I can't remember...hold on it will come to me....hmmm, nope....I'll be right back...there's a sticky note somewhere.
Thanks brain.
So to solve this problem I've started using the ever brilliant invention Post-Its. My desk looks like one giant reminder because I write them about everything....I have Post-its that remind me about other Post-its. I usually have to sort through my stickies to find the one I'm looking for. Yesterday, however, my brain revolted against my counter attack to memory lost. I miss placed a sticky note.
seriously?
It took me a good 10 minutes to locate it...during which I seriously doubted my capabilities to function. I eventually found it...stuck to some random wall...not near my desk. I do not remember putting it there. My brain had apparently gotten an overload of sticky notes so in an attempt to help me organize, it decided to start moving them. At this point I decided I needed to invest in an external hard drive for my brain, that way at the end of the day I can just transfer crucial files and then I don't have to worry about when my brain crashes.
Good news ....I don't have Alzheimer's.... bad news ... I'm impressed every day when I can do the basics.
If you see me driving down 85 confused....someone direct me towards home.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Alumni
So this weekend was my first UGA game of the season. This has not been a big deal in the past...until now. This past game marked my first game as an alumni.
(cue the huge sigh)
yup that's right. Alumni. AKA I'm at the game not as a student of the University...but as a graduate...as an old person. UGH. It was rough. Thankfully I had some other senior citizens to hang out with. We parked our wheel chairs....brought extra depends and our hearing aids and enjoyed a good game...from what we could see. It's just sad. Another nail in the coffin of my age. I have come to grips that I have thrown my cap, walked through the arch, moved home etc. but I had not come onto campus as an alumni yet. There was relief knowing that come Monday I had no class...and no homework to ruin my Sunday. However, as Will pointed out...I had an 8 hour work day. Thanks. I had almost forgotten.
I felt like I needed to be more accomplished as an alumni. I'm not ready for this!Whenever I picture an alumni I think of some very established, very sophisticated business man who has taken his degree and run with it.....creating his business kingdom and living in the laps of luxury....all because of his degree from UGA. However, I am a ripe 22, living at home with the parents, making pennies at an internship. Not very sophisticated; and if this is established....I'm in big trouble.
I feel that all that is missing from my new alumni status is the "University of Georgia Alumni" car sticker. I have tried to avoid buying this "senior citizen" sticker, mainly due to the fact that I believe I will wake up the day after putting that sticker on my car and be 30 years old and saying phrases like "Well when I went to Georgia.....back in 2004 etc."
Yikes. no thanks.
I think I still have another 5 years till I invest in that sticker. I'll stick to my Georgia "G" and pretend like I'm not as old as I really am.
Sad things happen when your a returning alumni. I didn't recognize any people in the student section; usually its teeming with friends from past classes and other acquaintances. I looked out Saturday...no one. I felt my back starting to hurt. Then I saw my brother down town having all the weekend college fun with his friends that I use to have. Oh....my joints. Then I noticed everyone looked so young! Since when did the middle school field trip downtown?? I feared everyone could see my grey hair growing in by the minute. This was no longer my town...this was the town of my college years. This was my "old stomping ground." Shadows and memories of the past four years floated in and out in front of my eyes and I realized I had to let go. Embrace being a graduate. I had to be OK with being an alumni and let the new wave of kids have at their college experience. Baby steps....next game probably won't be so hard. So I'm going to be proud and admit the truth.
My name is Cameron Smith....and I'm from the graduating class of 2008 from The University of Georgia.
I am an alumni and... I'm OK with it.
(cue the huge sigh)
yup that's right. Alumni. AKA I'm at the game not as a student of the University...but as a graduate...as an old person. UGH. It was rough. Thankfully I had some other senior citizens to hang out with. We parked our wheel chairs....brought extra depends and our hearing aids and enjoyed a good game...from what we could see. It's just sad. Another nail in the coffin of my age. I have come to grips that I have thrown my cap, walked through the arch, moved home etc. but I had not come onto campus as an alumni yet. There was relief knowing that come Monday I had no class...and no homework to ruin my Sunday. However, as Will pointed out...I had an 8 hour work day. Thanks. I had almost forgotten.
I felt like I needed to be more accomplished as an alumni. I'm not ready for this!Whenever I picture an alumni I think of some very established, very sophisticated business man who has taken his degree and run with it.....creating his business kingdom and living in the laps of luxury....all because of his degree from UGA. However, I am a ripe 22, living at home with the parents, making pennies at an internship. Not very sophisticated; and if this is established....I'm in big trouble.
I feel that all that is missing from my new alumni status is the "University of Georgia Alumni" car sticker. I have tried to avoid buying this "senior citizen" sticker, mainly due to the fact that I believe I will wake up the day after putting that sticker on my car and be 30 years old and saying phrases like "Well when I went to Georgia.....back in 2004 etc."
Yikes. no thanks.
I think I still have another 5 years till I invest in that sticker. I'll stick to my Georgia "G" and pretend like I'm not as old as I really am.
Sad things happen when your a returning alumni. I didn't recognize any people in the student section; usually its teeming with friends from past classes and other acquaintances. I looked out Saturday...no one. I felt my back starting to hurt. Then I saw my brother down town having all the weekend college fun with his friends that I use to have. Oh....my joints. Then I noticed everyone looked so young! Since when did the middle school field trip downtown?? I feared everyone could see my grey hair growing in by the minute. This was no longer my town...this was the town of my college years. This was my "old stomping ground." Shadows and memories of the past four years floated in and out in front of my eyes and I realized I had to let go. Embrace being a graduate. I had to be OK with being an alumni and let the new wave of kids have at their college experience. Baby steps....next game probably won't be so hard. So I'm going to be proud and admit the truth.
My name is Cameron Smith....and I'm from the graduating class of 2008 from The University of Georgia.
I am an alumni and... I'm OK with it.
Friday, September 5, 2008
a metaphor
This is not going to be a funny blog. Nope. This a vent.
Why... because I need to.
It hit me today...
a brilliantly good metaphor.
I’d say it was from God...but that would be a lie. I realized that some people/circumstances can be hurricanes. Wherever they go...mass destruction. You take 50 mph winds of manipulation mix it with swirling selfish waters, and mile high waves of insecurity and then you got yourself an Evacuation Situation. I'm going to start referring to these circumstances/people like the Weather Service does storms. ( EX: Hurricane Jane)
Sometimes I feel like it fits because I find myself wanting to scan the damage of peoples lives and say, "Welp, Hurricane Jane just took another victim."
Hurricanes also have no concerns for others. There is no avoiding it, no stopping it...just destruction. Why? Because towns can’t just pick up and move; and once your in it...your in it. Damage gets done whether people are there or not.
I feel that is how some things are in life. I can know there is a “hurricane” in my life, but can’t do anything about it but sit and watch the damage and pray for November…or whenever hurricane season is over. The thing with hurricanes is ….they don’t just mess up your life…they take your neighbors house...the ice cream shop...and the hobo’s bridge across town. So it is with some life situations. Sometimes others get caught in the flood.
And that’s why I don’t like the hurricane seasons of life.
With real hurricanes we have the Weather Service that can tell us to the hour where and when that bad boy will hit so people can prepare. In life, no warning. There can be slight hints….a strong wind if you will, but you rarely are ready for the Category 5 that could hit you.
I wish I had a life Weather Service that could give me heads up when my life was about to go Tropical Storm on me.
If I had a warning I would pick up and move inland.
Idaho would be nice.
I wish I was in Idaho. Heard they have good potatoes.
Why... because I need to.
It hit me today...
a brilliantly good metaphor.
I’d say it was from God...but that would be a lie. I realized that some people/circumstances can be hurricanes. Wherever they go...mass destruction. You take 50 mph winds of manipulation mix it with swirling selfish waters, and mile high waves of insecurity and then you got yourself an Evacuation Situation. I'm going to start referring to these circumstances/people like the Weather Service does storms. ( EX: Hurricane Jane)
Sometimes I feel like it fits because I find myself wanting to scan the damage of peoples lives and say, "Welp, Hurricane Jane just took another victim."
Hurricanes also have no concerns for others. There is no avoiding it, no stopping it...just destruction. Why? Because towns can’t just pick up and move; and once your in it...your in it. Damage gets done whether people are there or not.
I feel that is how some things are in life. I can know there is a “hurricane” in my life, but can’t do anything about it but sit and watch the damage and pray for November…or whenever hurricane season is over. The thing with hurricanes is ….they don’t just mess up your life…they take your neighbors house...the ice cream shop...and the hobo’s bridge across town. So it is with some life situations. Sometimes others get caught in the flood.
And that’s why I don’t like the hurricane seasons of life.
With real hurricanes we have the Weather Service that can tell us to the hour where and when that bad boy will hit so people can prepare. In life, no warning. There can be slight hints….a strong wind if you will, but you rarely are ready for the Category 5 that could hit you.
I wish I had a life Weather Service that could give me heads up when my life was about to go Tropical Storm on me.
If I had a warning I would pick up and move inland.
Idaho would be nice.
I wish I was in Idaho. Heard they have good potatoes.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Ridiculous
Glimps of my thoughts today as I worked through a mailing database:
Mr. Charles Dick...
Ugh what an awful last name. I would hate to be Mrs. Dick.
Mr. and Mrs. Dick...
Hahahahahah. That's terrible!
I'm so immature.
HAHAHHAHAHA. Mrs. Dickey.
nope that's worse.
Paschalis Ecomidis. I can't even pronounce that one. Wonder how many times people acutually say her name right.
his name?
Fernando Duralde.
Oh that's an awesome name!
Ferrrnando (in spanish accent)
Hello...my name is Fernando Duralde. You killed my father, prepare to die.
Ha.
ok. seriously.....focus.
Ferrrnando........hahaha
Mr. Charles Dick...
Ugh what an awful last name. I would hate to be Mrs. Dick.
Mr. and Mrs. Dick...
Hahahahahah. That's terrible!
I'm so immature.
HAHAHHAHAHA. Mrs. Dickey.
nope that's worse.
Paschalis Ecomidis. I can't even pronounce that one. Wonder how many times people acutually say her name right.
his name?
Fernando Duralde.
Oh that's an awesome name!
Ferrrnando (in spanish accent)
Hello...my name is Fernando Duralde. You killed my father, prepare to die.
Ha.
ok. seriously.....focus.
Ferrrnando........hahaha
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Oh Parents
My parents are funny. For those of you that know them, you understand what I mean. They are probably the most conservative parents I've ever met. I don't mean that in a bad way...but it's true. This doesn't mean that my parents have huge MCCAIN signs in our yard, and when the slightest available moment to bring up politics presents itself they jump at it and let everyone know that Republicans are the best option. No, not that kind of political conservative (although they are). No I'm talking about how they are just conservative by nature. All drinking is bad. Smoking is too. Especially around my young, easily influenced, teenage brothers.
Now living at home with my parents makes me very aware that some of the stuff I am use to doing in college doesn't exactly fly here at home. Sometimes it bugs me and I try my best to please them and not disrupt their pleasant little world with my sinful habits. But...sometimes...it's my favorite past time :) And I may or may not do it just to get a reaction. Here's examples from the past couple weeks of me learning whats not ok...and my different attempts at still doing it.
1.) I decide to have a late night glass of wine. Go get my wine and start pouring a glass.
Mom- "What are you doing?"
Me- "Having a glass of wine."
Mom- "Why?"
Me- "Because I'm 21 and I can. Is that ok?"
Mom- " I don't really know why you feel like you need to have a glass."
Me- "I don't feel like I need to....I just want to. I'm not drowning my sorrows...I'm not drinking my cares away...I just want to have a glass."
Mom- She takes my wine glass and puts it up. "Well I don't want your brothers to see you drinking, so put it in a plastic cup."
Experience ruined. Try drinking red wine out of a UGA SEC Championship Cup and you'll understand.
2.) Second Wine Experience...I'm learning. Parents were gone to a PTA meeting...perfect time to have a glass of wine without being under my mother's disapproving eyes. So I have myself a glass while I work on some project late at night. All goes well. Brothers don't even realize I'm having one. Hear the parents come in.....swig the last sip. SUCCESS....glass a wine and no lecture. Forgot one thing though...the glass.
Mom comes in. Looks at the glass....looks at me. I smile and try to play innocent...and stupid.
"What's that? Did you have a glass of wine?" Her face was extremely downcast and her tone of voice was screaming (SIGH , I am so dissappointed)
"Oh ya....I was working on this project and thought I'd have some of my birthday wine."
Mom- " (SIGH) You really shouldn't start drinking during the week."
Awesome....mom thinks I'm an alcoholic! One glass of wine. One time this week.
Told you they were conservative.
3.) So the sneaky approach didn't work. Now I've just become blatant and going for some shock factor.
Last Night:
"Mom, Lauren and I are going to go to the Jacuzzi and have some wine and smoke the hookah with Zach...do you want to come?"
I say this as I walk downstairs with bottle of wine in hand. Hookah is like fancy cigar smoke...only it looks like a water bong..and my mother HATES THEM! I decided to hit her with two wammies.
She looks at me. Pauses.
"No, I'm good. But thanks sweetie."
SUCCESS!
(To give my mom some credit...she has been known to drink a margarita on occasion..but only when its just her and I. I'm slowly breaking her :) )
Now living at home with my parents makes me very aware that some of the stuff I am use to doing in college doesn't exactly fly here at home. Sometimes it bugs me and I try my best to please them and not disrupt their pleasant little world with my sinful habits. But...sometimes...it's my favorite past time :) And I may or may not do it just to get a reaction. Here's examples from the past couple weeks of me learning whats not ok...and my different attempts at still doing it.
1.) I decide to have a late night glass of wine. Go get my wine and start pouring a glass.
Mom- "What are you doing?"
Me- "Having a glass of wine."
Mom- "Why?"
Me- "Because I'm 21 and I can. Is that ok?"
Mom- " I don't really know why you feel like you need to have a glass."
Me- "I don't feel like I need to....I just want to. I'm not drowning my sorrows...I'm not drinking my cares away...I just want to have a glass."
Mom- She takes my wine glass and puts it up. "Well I don't want your brothers to see you drinking, so put it in a plastic cup."
Experience ruined. Try drinking red wine out of a UGA SEC Championship Cup and you'll understand.
2.) Second Wine Experience...I'm learning. Parents were gone to a PTA meeting...perfect time to have a glass of wine without being under my mother's disapproving eyes. So I have myself a glass while I work on some project late at night. All goes well. Brothers don't even realize I'm having one. Hear the parents come in.....swig the last sip. SUCCESS....glass a wine and no lecture. Forgot one thing though...the glass.
Mom comes in. Looks at the glass....looks at me. I smile and try to play innocent...and stupid.
"What's that? Did you have a glass of wine?" Her face was extremely downcast and her tone of voice was screaming (SIGH , I am so dissappointed)
"Oh ya....I was working on this project and thought I'd have some of my birthday wine."
Mom- " (SIGH) You really shouldn't start drinking during the week."
Awesome....mom thinks I'm an alcoholic! One glass of wine. One time this week.
Told you they were conservative.
3.) So the sneaky approach didn't work. Now I've just become blatant and going for some shock factor.
Last Night:
"Mom, Lauren and I are going to go to the Jacuzzi and have some wine and smoke the hookah with Zach...do you want to come?"
I say this as I walk downstairs with bottle of wine in hand. Hookah is like fancy cigar smoke...only it looks like a water bong..and my mother HATES THEM! I decided to hit her with two wammies.
She looks at me. Pauses.
"No, I'm good. But thanks sweetie."
SUCCESS!
(To give my mom some credit...she has been known to drink a margarita on occasion..but only when its just her and I. I'm slowly breaking her :) )
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Mad Traffic Skills
Traffic is bad. It just is. There is no way getting around it sometimes. It's like Fried chicken. It's always bad for you...no ifs ands or buts. That food will clog your arteries fast. Doesn't matter if you eat it in the morning...at night...or as a late night snack. It will eventually kill you. Same idea with traffic. In the morning...bad....afternoon...worse. And today was probably the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen! However, I made it home in just 35 min when it should have taken my probably an hour and a half. (oh yes I've sat in traffic that long)
What's my trick? While working in Atlanta I have developed and honed a new skill. A skill I like to call traffic wizardry. That's right, I have become a pro at rush hour. I'm the ruler of the roads......master of mayhem......highness of the highway.
Today's traffic seriously reminded me of what war in other countries must look like. About an hour before I left work I heard on the radio about a huge wreck over off of "highway to hell" right under Spaghetti Junction and I knew I was in for a treat! By the time I got off of work that impressive display of stupid driving would be backed up all the way to my exit. expletives. So I left work with my mind set....I WILL not sit and rot in traffic today. Not today. My day had already been extremely long and tiring...I just couldn't handle sitting in a parking lot that was suppose to be a highway.
And that's when I learned my amazing traffic avoiding skills. Its fascinating what you can do when you put your mind to it!
I saw those awful red brake lights backed up all the way to my exit....SEVERAL miles from supposed "worst wreck ever!". Also... it was raining which means people are dumber today. Don't ask me why...but you throw a little precipitation into rush hour and suddenly 5 year old's are behind the wheel, and I-85 turns into a bumper car version of Nascar; except cars don't bounce off of each other...they smash into one another and block off 3 lanes of traffic. That was my scenario here.
Three lanes taken victim.
Outlook...bad.
Also I could see a helicopter in the distance...perfect, this wreck is so awesome its newsworthy. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. Then...as if a light bulb went off....I remembered...Access Roads. BRILLIANT! If my calculations were correct and if this wreck really did happen just under Spaghetti Junction...I had just enough access roads to circumvent this traffic jam. I started off....so far so good....over one exit...continuing along side absolutely stopped traffic. Guilt kicked in here. All those people are just sitting there slowly losing their minds and I'm flying by at a whopping 45 mph (that's fast for traffic) on an access road. And then I wondered...this is too good to be true...this must be illegal.
You know how cutting through parking lots to avoid lights is illegal...yet such a good idea...I felt that this is what I was doing. Any minute I would get pulled over and the cop would say, " Now missy, what makes you think that you can just drive around traffic when everyone else has to sit in it?"
At this point I didn't care. I had beat the system! After about 15 min or so of driving down access roads I pass over Spaghetti Junction (via access road) and saw the damage. Oh it was bad. Several blinking signs cutting off several lanes. No one was moving. Millions of police cars were there and a helicopter circled. As I watched them in my rear view mirror I got off the bridge and found myself amongst absolutely no traffic. It had all cleared up after the wreck.
I smiled,
then gave one huge fist pump of victory and laughed in traffic's face. After all...traffic always wins in the morning. But sometimes....if I stay on my toes...I get the last laugh at the end of the day.
I pulled into my driveway utterly satisfied and feeling somewhat powerful...genius if you will. And that, my friends, is how you become master of the roads.
(I should be getting that award any day)
What's my trick? While working in Atlanta I have developed and honed a new skill. A skill I like to call traffic wizardry. That's right, I have become a pro at rush hour. I'm the ruler of the roads......master of mayhem......highness of the highway.
Today's traffic seriously reminded me of what war in other countries must look like. About an hour before I left work I heard on the radio about a huge wreck over off of "highway to hell" right under Spaghetti Junction and I knew I was in for a treat! By the time I got off of work that impressive display of stupid driving would be backed up all the way to my exit. expletives. So I left work with my mind set....I WILL not sit and rot in traffic today. Not today. My day had already been extremely long and tiring...I just couldn't handle sitting in a parking lot that was suppose to be a highway.
And that's when I learned my amazing traffic avoiding skills. Its fascinating what you can do when you put your mind to it!
I saw those awful red brake lights backed up all the way to my exit....SEVERAL miles from supposed "worst wreck ever!". Also... it was raining which means people are dumber today. Don't ask me why...but you throw a little precipitation into rush hour and suddenly 5 year old's are behind the wheel, and I-85 turns into a bumper car version of Nascar; except cars don't bounce off of each other...they smash into one another and block off 3 lanes of traffic. That was my scenario here.
Three lanes taken victim.
Outlook...bad.
Also I could see a helicopter in the distance...perfect, this wreck is so awesome its newsworthy. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. Then...as if a light bulb went off....I remembered...Access Roads. BRILLIANT! If my calculations were correct and if this wreck really did happen just under Spaghetti Junction...I had just enough access roads to circumvent this traffic jam. I started off....so far so good....over one exit...continuing along side absolutely stopped traffic. Guilt kicked in here. All those people are just sitting there slowly losing their minds and I'm flying by at a whopping 45 mph (that's fast for traffic) on an access road. And then I wondered...this is too good to be true...this must be illegal.
You know how cutting through parking lots to avoid lights is illegal...yet such a good idea...I felt that this is what I was doing. Any minute I would get pulled over and the cop would say, " Now missy, what makes you think that you can just drive around traffic when everyone else has to sit in it?"
At this point I didn't care. I had beat the system! After about 15 min or so of driving down access roads I pass over Spaghetti Junction (via access road) and saw the damage. Oh it was bad. Several blinking signs cutting off several lanes. No one was moving. Millions of police cars were there and a helicopter circled. As I watched them in my rear view mirror I got off the bridge and found myself amongst absolutely no traffic. It had all cleared up after the wreck.
I smiled,
then gave one huge fist pump of victory and laughed in traffic's face. After all...traffic always wins in the morning. But sometimes....if I stay on my toes...I get the last laugh at the end of the day.
I pulled into my driveway utterly satisfied and feeling somewhat powerful...genius if you will. And that, my friends, is how you become master of the roads.
(I should be getting that award any day)
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